I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
