So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
