The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
