dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
