dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
