I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
