erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
