Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
