Jerry, you need to find god
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
