Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I think people are normalizing furries
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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