She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
