Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
