I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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