they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
