i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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