Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
