And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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