I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
