Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
