the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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