Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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