My first STD was from a foam party
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
