He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
