Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
