if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
