Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Still dying that you shit outside
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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