I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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