"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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