I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
