I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
