Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize