Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
