Quick, to the slutcave!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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