Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
