i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize