Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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