Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
