Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
