and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize