I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
