i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
