yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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