Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize