god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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