Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
