You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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