I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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