I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
