I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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