I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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