I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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