Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
