When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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