I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
