you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
