Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
