need another drink. this is the easiest way
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
