it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
