there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
