i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
