I think i peed on brittanys purse
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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