Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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