gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
