Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
