marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
