If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
