I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
