I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
