"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I am naked and annoyed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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