You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
