You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
