You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
