Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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