Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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