your thong is hanging out like whoa
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
