quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
