I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
