Got a toothbrush?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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