rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize