Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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