definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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