I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
