It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
