people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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