i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
