my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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